What Happens When You Find Your Audience

What actually is authenticity? When I ask myself this question, I often think about The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I think about how authenticity has become a buzzword for marketing managers, celebrities, and artists alike. I also think about the way our main character, Walter, only finds his stride once he lives authentically as himself.

Image from Rotten Tomatoes

But what does authenticity actually mean?

Contrary to what you may’ve found on TikTok, authenticity isn’t always loud. It’s not always in your face. 

Here are the things that change once you start living authentically as yourself and, consequently, the signs that something life-altering is about to happen::

1. Your Friendships Shift

2. Smaller Characteristics Change

3. You Question Your Perspective

4. People Will Have Strong Opinions About You

5. Rest Becomes Important

6. Your Systems Actually Work

Your Friendships Shift

This can feel painful at times. The people who benefitted from you feeling small no longer can utilize you to boost themselves. That might feel as odd to them as it does to you. You are used to shrinking yourself in order to fit into spaces that were never built for you. However, you eventually learn that you can’t grow by squeezing into spaces that are too smalll. You can’t meet your potential by remaining in a box to make others comfortable. You are 3-dimensional and you need to be around people who embrace that. Once you find those people, you begin to recognize how much of yourself you had stored away for someone else’s comfort. And you will have no desire to do so again.

Image from IndieWire

Smaller Characteristics Change 

We often talk about the huge changes—like hair color, personality traits, or lifestyle changes. In contrast, we rarely point out the smaller things that change once you start living authentically as yourself. When I started becoming more confident, I spoke louder. I used to have a breathy tone, and now I speak as if someone who can significantly change my life id able to hear what I’m saying. I speak as if know what I’m about to say is of value before it even leaves my mouth, and before someone else can deem it valid.

You Question Your Perspective

No kind of metamorphosis occurs without doubt. Most people are not infallible. In fact, most people are impressionable. Having doubt does not make you less worthy of obtaining what you want in life, and asking questions is not a sign of weakness. The fact that you can question your desires and goals is actually healthy. Plus, the more often you come back to your original perspective, the more solidified that perspective becomes. Allow yourself to go through the motions and choose a way of being that surpasses what you’ve already tried.

Image from Scene + Heard

People Will Have Strong Opinions About You

Polarizing peope invite controversy. That means if you are authentically yourself, you may attract the kind of attention that tries to tear you down. It is not your job to be likable to everyone. That’s what Nutella is for. Everyone can’t be Nutella.

Rest Becomes Important

This is the part most people overlook. Once you are in sync with who you are at your core, or on the brink to finding that, you allow yourself to rest. You realize that you don’t need to overextend yourself to prove your value. You understand that the work you’ve done in pursuit of your goals will show up for you even on days where you’re not running on the hamster wheel. You even spend more time around people who make your body feel like it can relax because fight-or-flight mode becomes foreign to you. You rest because you know that you deserve it.

Your Systems Actually Work

Lastly, you create systems that actually work for you because you know yourself. You understand that you must carve out something unique for yourself that allows you to have everything you need and still show up for others. The desire to operate like your peers doesn’t occur to you anymore. You have specific needs and you honor them.

I’m still working on each of these aspects of my growth, as I’m sure you are as well. Still, we know it’s worth it to peel back the layers of who we are. We know this because we have already spent far too much time allowing others to define those layers for us.

Thank you for reading this week’s newsletter. Also, I have a special announcement:

My digital Controlled Chaos Workbook is LIVE for pre-order only for a short time. I’m letting my subscribers get first dibs on this discounted price because this community is sacred. And that is because of compassionate people who want to make their lives better.

About the Workbook:

I made this workbook for busy brains with chaotic schedules and big dreams. It’s a gentle map for nonlinear minds. As an autistic artist, I need more structures and systems that work for my brain, and figured someone else could use that too. Here’s to making the chaos work for us!

Pre-Order the Controlled Chaos Workbook Here!

-CM